Mar 15, 2023
I received an email from a former client I haven’t interacted with in years that went into detail about how terrible I was for holding a boundary about being paid in the standard way before working with her. It included expressions of pity that I was such a terrible, money motivated person that I would do such a hurtful, obviously awful thing to her.
It was, among other things, a trip down memory lane of a lot of failures in my early attempts at relating to friends and lovers. When I got hurt, rather than introspection, compassion (for them or me), or working through the emotions before trying to address the misalignment, I would spin a story of how wrong and bad the other person was and why I was entitled to whatever I had desired from them. Then, I’d write a really long email explaining this. Happily, with the help of therapy, among other things, I have more functional ways of relating.
Yet, I can still find that subroutine of ruminating on another person’s way of being in the world as invalid when I feel hurt. This messy, vital, complex business of relating to other humans has such levels of risk and reward. In this long episode, I share about my personal journey with mental loops of vilifying other people and how I navigate it when someone vilifies me and wants to tell me about it. I hope it helps you have a functional map for navigating this highly charged, complicated energy, whether it's showing up internally or focused outwards.
Want to support my work and be supported by my team of guides? Check out my membership offer: https://www.patreon.com/practicalshamanism
Want more audio content from me? Check out my online academy at https://academy.handsoverheart.com/
Sound editing by Kevin Young. You can reach him at email@example.com
DISCLAIMER: The suggestions and information provided here are intended for personal growth and exploration. The content of this podcast is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice or psychological treatment. Please seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.
To learn more about me and my work, please visit my website at https://handsoverheart.com